Now Something Completely Different

OK...This is quite different with a strong red neck tone. But what are you supposed to do when, as a young lad, you get dragged into dark wilderness, in pissing rain. All you have to eat are cheapest barbeque sausages (if you're lucky they're actually barbequed) and all you have to drink is Keltainen Jaffa. The co-convictees are extremely hammered older men who have escaped their blue collar occupations for the weekend. You're almost certain of your untimely death, you're freezing and a healthy snot is hanging off your nose. Then you start to hear the distant...ba..baaa....baaap....babababarrr.....baaaaaa.brrrraaaa.... and you're not quite certain what it is. Then it gets louder and the passed out guy in a patio chair next to you comes back to life, but you can't quite understand what language he is speaking. Then it starts to get louder...BAAARGH!! BAM BAM.....BAAAA..BAAAA..BAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH...BA...BA...BA...BAAAA....Then it gets fricking massive noise, filling the entire forest with roar and exhaust backfire noise. Then you see the car appear around the corner and your ears feel like bleeding and the car looks like it will take off onto its course on the orbit any second. This keeps going for the next 10 minutes until it's time to start the trek back towards the Opel Kadett that is parked at least 50 km away and you know that you won't be able to make it back alive. It sucked so bad, but you had asked and begged and begged some more to go so you suck it up and do the hike in you're wet rubber boots. You don't know it at that time, but you're scarred for life and there is no known cure for the condition...you will probably remember this the day you die.

Don't believe me? Well see for yourself. You don't see any crashes in this video, because "these guys have massive balls of cast iron that keep the center of gravity so low that these cars cannot be flipped".

Agent Smith in the black helicopter took down the first video, but luckily the geeks are awake. I feel quite a redneck right now....

 

CX Season in Full Swing

The Dark Cross update is still in the works, so I'll just fast forward to this weekend and race #3.

If first two races were new additions to MB calendar, today's Mennocross (www.mennocross.ca) is more of a classic. Venue is familiar Mennonite University and this year the course was much dryer than ever before. The Dark Side race course crew had brewed up a nasty leg breaker with a new stair run up on the bunker and of course the Flyover. They also ordered a +27 day for this race, which was not cool in any way. I had to wear the brand new sausage suit, so the fat was definitely crying under the late September sun. The race itself started fastish thanks to yours truly, trying to establish a lead group and help Cricket get there without burning too many matches. Then I basically blew a gasket and dropped to 8-10 spot for a lap or two and was thinking about calling it a day. I started recovering though and clawing my way back towards the lead. At the end I lost the 3rd spot by two bike lengths. I had no intentions of going that hard pre-race, but you gotta do what you gotta do. Cricket made it look easy and even crashed once on his way to top podium spot, probably for show.

Good times let me tell you!

Dark Cross 2012

It's been some time since the last time, but it's like riding a bike...right?

Dark Cross took place tonight. It was bleeping awesome, even if I sucked balls big time. Thank you for all those in attendance and let's one up this one next year.

I'll come up with something better soon.

1974 Honda CB 360

Getting old (slow). Need all the help I can find...

Tour of White(s)hell

Today's program, checking out the vacant lots. First was a shorter loop of just 8 km this morning, but I kept my eyes open and spotted the lot 1 that is for sale. This afternoon there is a bit longer cruise to see some bit more remote property along the 307 highway.

The road ride was less productive as there was only swampland as far as I can see. It was a nice friendly cruise for 85 km and much better training than sitting on my couch geeking bike gear and pro races.

Suitable reward for the days effort was a Michelob Ultra semi-beer because Lance would drink that if he would drink beer-like beverages. I did get some tasty stuff in form of Oso Negro coffee from BC as a souvenir from good friends. I think it's actually just coffee...seriously.

Racy Races

Time to pin the numbers again after skipping the first start of the season this morning at bleeping 7:30 AM. There's nothing like TTing in sub zero temps. I am trying a new warm-up for the afternoon start called concrete demolition. Large sledgehammer and hauling chunks of conrete are the core parts of this new method.

I did receive my license just yesterday and noticed that it didn't go quite as planned because there was no option for UCI category in online registration, but the license of course needs to list a UCI cat. So my UCI cat says elite instead of old fart, that can pick and choose in which cat to race. Doesn't really matter, as my racing plans will probably fall through again this summer.

I was looking at some training camp options this spring. Those who do stuff such as training around here travel down to Tucson. Apparently they really like it there, but based on the photos it looks like Spain off the coast, so not really that appealing option. The flights are also bit pricey at $800-900. Other option I was looking at was a camp in Mallorca, flights are same price or even cheaper, hotels are cheaper and lets face it, the island is almost as good as it gets for road riding. The downside of Spain is the long flight and jetlag. I need to put some more thought to this for next spring. Too bad any option costs an arm and leg when you live in Winnipeg.

Any jobs open in Holland or Belgium? Riding is not too bad all year round and flights to Mallorca or Italy cost next to nothing.

Addition:
 That was a productive day. First this in the morning...
 

 And then this in the afternoon...

Cannondale Flash Carbon 29er 3

As the years pass, riding gets less epic and bikes get more expensive (sometimes nicer). When the riding is something not to tell kids about, one needs to talk about bikes. My latest addition is a Cannondale big wheel. Not much to say yet...except that I don't like all the adapters for brakes and all the white paint hurts my eyes. And it needs to loose the tubes. Test riding this weekend in the bush, so we'll see how it runs.

Took the bike for a first real ride.